


Sure is a lot of Spider in that Man

by Frog_that_writes



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: And is kinda insecure about it, Because i need it to get the ideas across, Inspired By Tumblr, Peter Parker is a nerd, Social Media, Social Media Fic, Twitter Fic, as my fics always are, in later chapters it will be mosty twitter, its a Social media fic but with words and sometimes dialogue as well, peter has a lot of spider abilites, texting fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-16 08:32:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17546213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frog_that_writes/pseuds/Frog_that_writes
Summary: Peter has a lot more spider-like traits, and used them to make some good Twitter shit posts.(Inspired by a tumblr post by @couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name)





	1. Well I fucked up

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [twitter is onto something](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625167) by [pomegranateboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegranateboy/pseuds/pomegranateboy). 



Peter slowly realized as time went on after having been bitten, that he had gained more spider traits than just being able to stick to a wall or sense when danger was nearby (but was that even a spider trait? He didn't think spiders had the ability to sense impending apocolpyses like he could. Either way, it was useful).

For one, he was scarily strong now. That was okay though, and actually pretty useful, because those AP textbooks were nightmares and it was getting hard for him to carry them before. Now only his backpack was tearing and not his arm muscles. Yay. 

His canines got a little sharper too, which he was a little iffy about, but Ned thought it was hilarious when he would bite down on things with them, and they weren't sharp enough to really look like noticeable fangs. He could live with it. Even though Ned insisted on referring to them as "baby fangs." 

After that, things got a little… weird, though. 

There were some things that he didn't even talk to Ned about. He was worried that after a certain point it officially became Weird and not Cool. Since he didn't talk to Ned about it, there was no way he was going to mention any of it to Aunt May. He could never let anyone find out about it. 

That is, until he realized all of these weird abilities could definitely pass for some weird shit posts.

And Mr. Stark had finally let him make an official Spider-Man Twitter. 

 

**@HardcoreParkour** : I have decided chewing is officially too much effort. From henceforth I shall release a venom that will melt all my food into a convenient liquid that I will drink out of a bendy straw.

 

Peter smiled after clicking “post” and set his phone down, sipping what used to be a bag of potato chips and sitting down to finish his Physics homework. 

Eventually, after an hour of doing homework, he set his pencil down and got up to take a break. 

_ Might as well check the retweets on that post,  _ he thought, reaching for his phone. 

He pulled up Twitter and went to check his notification, before nearly dropping his phone in horror.

He had just posted that on his personal account.

Shit. 

This is exactly why Mr. Stark hadn't wanted him to make a Spider-Man page in the first place. He was going to kill him. 

Scrolling through the retweets reluctantly, he realized the damage wasn't actually too bad. It seemed like it was going to end up his most popular tweet, with 347 retweets already, but most of the comments people added were just “mood” or “same,” with a very nice “what the fuck penis” from Flash mixed in. He could always count on him to keep it real. 

Everyone seemed to only think it was a shit post. This was manageable. 

He was just deciding what to tell Mr. Stark when he inevitably found about this when Ned texted him.

 

**NedsDeclassified** : Okay, #1, can you actually do that? Like, release venom and melt food? That's so cool 

#2 you do know you posted that on your peter account right? 

**SpideyBoi** : I can actually do that, but the people of Twitter don’t know that ;;)

**SpideyBoi:** I will become a shit post God with spider memes

**NedsDeclassified:** it was a total accident wasn't it

**SpideyBoi:** Yes oh my God mr. S is gonna kill me 

**NedsDeclassified:** Nice knowing you

**SpideyBoi:** Betrayal 

**NedsDeclassified:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

That wasn't helpful at all.

He was actually going to die. 


	2. Aw fuck, my toe

This was it. Peter was going to walk into the compound, he was going to apologize to Mr. Stark and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't “fire” him. Could he even be fired? Technically, he didn't actually work for Mr. Stark. But he was also technically an intern. He couldn't be fired from being a superhero at least, since no matter how many times Mr. Stark took his suits he could always make more. 

Peter, shook his head with a sigh. He was getting off track. It was time to accept his fate and die. 

He took a deep breath and opened the door. 

Mr. Stark was sitting on the couch, frowning at something on his phone, but he looked up when he heard Peter walk in. 

“Hey kid, you're here early today. Ready to head down to the lab?” He asked, standing up and pocketing his phone. Peter shuffled nervously.

“Actually, Mr. Stark, there's something I want to talk to you about,” he said.

“Oh, well let's hear it then.” 

“So I might have- well I mean I did- but it was a total accident I swear! I just-”

“Woah kid you're not making any sense. Take a deep breath and start over,” Mr. Stark interrupted, smirking at the end to let him know he was fine and that he was mostly joking. 

“I accidentally tweeted something about having spider powers on my Peter Parker account,” Peter let it all out in one breath, and immediately cringed and closed his eyes. After a beat of silence, he opened them and say Mr. Stark trying to hold in laughter. 

“Oh yeah I saw that! That was hilarious kid. Don't worry about it, if I thought anyone would connect it back to you being Spider-man I would've hacked into your account and deleted it as soon as I saw it.” He brushed it off, and Peter started at him in confusion. 

“But… aren’t you worried people might connect that to me being Spider-man?” he asked.

“Frankly kid, I don’t think anyone is actually going to make that connection. Maybe don’t let on that ‘Spider-man’ can do that anytime soon, but other than that there really isn't an issue.” He shrugged.

“So… it’s okay if I keep posting stuff like that?” Peter asked hesitantly, still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Mr. Stark hadn’t banned him from being Spider-man or something equally drastic. 

“As long as you don’t say something that obviously tracks you back to everyone’s favorite web-slinger, you can post whatever the hell you want Pete. But if you think someone may be catching on, you need to tell me.” He said the last part sternly, and fixed Peter with a serious look, before dropping it and smiling again. “C’mon, let’s get down to the lab. I’ve got something for us to both work on today.”

* * *

 

Later, Peter was laying in bed, staring distastefully at a particularly bad Calculus problem. He was smart, sure, but that didn’t mean he was magically able to actually know how to do all his homework. He got up with a sigh and started pacing, hoping that would help him work out. After around the fifth lap around his rather cramped room, when he accidentally stubbed his toe on the corner of his bed. His bed with a metal frame. One of those horrible ones with the little bit that stuck out. And holy fuck did it hurt

He gasped sharply, and began furiously cursing under his breath while hopping on the other foot and holding his poor abused toe. Suddenly he remembered another particular spider ability he had gained, and smiled as he realized he would have another tweet to make tonight at least.

 

Peter **@HardcoreParkour**

Stubbed my toe and decided to rip my leg off after the pain took too long to go away. Hope it doesn’t take too long to grow back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> true bravery is writing stuff for the marvel fandom when you've only ever seen infinity wars and all ur characterization comes from other fanfiction  
> also leave a comment if you enjoyed uwu, chapter 1 didnt get any and i need constant validation to live


	3. Finally actually just social media

Peter **@HardcoreParkour**

Stubbed my toe and decided to rip my leg off after the pain took too long to go away. Hope it doesn’t take too long to grow back!

 

MJ **@TheOnlySaneOne**

Replying to @ **HardcoreParkour**

Big mood

 

Ned@ **NedsDeclassified**

Replying to  **@HardcoreParkous**

Hope it grows back okay!!

 

Flash@ **FlashThompson**

Replying to  **@HardcoreParkour**

Seriously Penis, what the fuck, stop trying to act like these tweets make you funny or cool

 

**And 768 other retweets** ( **load more)**

 

**NedsDeclassified:** did you seriously just rip your fucking l e g off??????

**SpideyBoi:** whose to say? 

**NedsDeclassified:** no, this won't stand. I'm making a new chat with you and MJ so we can yell at you together 

**SpideyBoi:** nooooo :(

 

**NedsDeclassified** _ has added  _ **SpideyBoi** _ and  _ **BAM(j)F**

**NedsDeclassified:** im sure you're wondering why I've gathered you all here

**BAM(j)F:** all two of us? 

**SpideyBoi:** you already told me what this chat is?

**NedsDeclassified:** good questions!

**NedsDeclassified:** i have gathered you so we can develop a full list of all the spider traits our dear friend Pete has 

**SpideyBoi:** i can just tell you????

**NedsDeclassified:** yeah but maybe we can find more too 

**BAM(j)F:** wait Pete you actually have those spider abbilities? 

**SpideyBoi** : ye

**BAM(j)F:** lol

**SpideyBoi:** ikr 

**NedsDeclassified:** you aren't at all worried about Peter ripping his leg off?

**BAM(j)F:** he said it would grow back right? 

**SpideyBoi:** it will indeed 

**BAM(j)F:** see? It's fine 

**NedsDeclassified:** you're both unbelievable 

**SpideyBoi:** awww thanks OwO

**BAM(j)F:** wait Peter how did you even know your leg would grow back 

**SpideyBoi:** mostly instinct 

**NedsDeclassifies:** i n s t i n c t

**SpideyBoi:** ye the first time i was like “yo bro my leg really fucking hurts” and then I sorta lost focused for a bit and then I opened my eyes and I had tore my leg off 

**SpideyBoi:** it grew back overnight tho so its chill 

**BAM(j)F:** i thought it would take longer. Maybe that's you're enhanced healing coming out? 

**SpideyBoi:** hmmm maybe 

**NedsDeclassified:** what do you do with your legs after you rip them off 

**SpideyBoi:** ned you can't just ask a half spider what he does with his discarded limbs 

**BAM(j)F:** Jesus Ned have some tact 

**NedsDeclassified:** I'm curious!

**SpideyBoi:** would you believe me if I said I ate them? 

**NedsDeclassified:** i would choose not to 

**SpideyBoi:** so I guess you'll never know 

**BAM(j)F:** this has been an incredibly something charged day but like we have school tomorrow so night losers

**NedsDeclassified:** we all know you don't sleep

**BAM(j)F:** yeah this conversation was just boring me

**SpideyBoi:** :*(


	4. Weed lol

**SpideyBoi:** do you guys think its wild that I can do most thing spiders can, but i can't even make my own webs 

**BAM(j)F:** i mean i don't see you running around on eight legs either 

**SpideyBoi:** you dont know what i do with my free time 

**NedsDeclassified:** I mean, it is kinda weird but so is everything about you now so 

**SpideyBoi** : I'd argue that but I'm currently drinking a venom pizza smoothie so 

**BAM(j)F:** gross 

**SpideyBoi:** ur just jealous that u have to actually chew ur food 

**BAM(j)F:** not even slightly 

**NedsDeclassified:** do you eat flies now?? 

**SpideyBoi:** no flies r gross 

**SpideyBoi:** i think actual spiders only eat them so they can have that sweet sweet protein since they're too little to eat anything else 

**NedsDeclassified:** rip 

**BAM(j)F:** i can't tell which of you is weirder 

**SpideyBoi:** Anyway it's pretty lucky that I just happened to be so good at chemistry so that I can just make web fluid right?

**BAM(j)F:** yeah you probably wouldn't have been a super hero otherwise 

**SpideyBoi:** I mean I guess I could've I just would have been a very different kind of superhero 

**SpideyBoi:** I mean I can lift like a lot so 

**BAM(j)F:** how much is a lot 

**SpideyBoi:** idk but I held up a building one time 

**BAM(j)F:** lit 

**NedsDeclassified:** i'm way too scared to ask

**SpideyBoi:** yeah im super traumatized lol

**BAM(j)F:** rip lol

**BAM(j)F:** sometimes i forget ur like an actual super hero who does scary stuff and ur not just a fury who thinks his fursona is a super hero

**SpideyBoi:** I’m genuinly mortally offended rn

**SpideyBoi:** don’t come crying to me when you need a web set up outside ur nest to alert you about predators

**NedsDeclassified:** i can’t tell if u genuinly don’t know thats not a normal people thing or not

**SpideyBoi:** …

**BAM(j)F:** don't you two have homework or something you should be doing 

**SpideyBoi:** Nah I finished that, I'm on patrol rn 

**NedsDeclassified:** then why r you texting us 

**SpideyBoi:** cause it's a really boring night 

**SpideyBoi:** seriously, I've only stopped like 2 muggings 

**NedsDeclassified:** rip :( 

**SpideyBoi:** Ooo I see smth going down at the 7/11 gtg

**BAM(j)F:** if it's a drug deal save us some 

**NedsDeclassified:** only if its weed tho, I dont want meth or anything 

**SpideyBoi:** *thumbs up emoji*

**Author's Note:**

> I can't wait to keep writing this, and I hope y'all stick around to keep reading!!  
> Comment or leave a kudo if you enjoyed!


End file.
